The Silent Goodbye

It was in a slow breeze evening. Ellen was sitting near her window, waiting for him, Vincent, the guy who has been around these three months. They were about leaving for dinner, the last dinner they may have in this world. Both of them are students, and they wer about to leave. She realized how she and Vincent are separated by the passport color. How she and Vincent will never ever be together. She bites her lips, the lips that Vincent said as beautiful lips. She realized how bitter a goodbye could be after having Vincent around these three months. She realized that she involves her feeling while Vincent doesnt. She realized that her hearts is so fragile that even when the first time Vincent hugged her, she could not do anything but just being rembel and shaking. The fear of allowing a new man to touch her after all the hurt she felt in her past. She bite and bite her lips. As hard as she could, try to send the tears away on her eyes.

7.15. Vincent was still not arrive. She looked down her window many times, showing the restlessness of a woman waiting for her date. She touched the gift she neatly wrapped for Vincent. It was a keychain she specially ordered for him. It has Vincent picture alone, that she collected from his facebook account. She remembered how hard she struggle for this keychain. She went all over the city to get the best result of printing. She changed to many shops till she got the best one and yet the shop was very late go produce it, so she rode her bike late at night, to make sure the keychain will be ready for the dinner tonight. How she put Vincemt as her priority, even how much Vincent has let her down. There were many days during these three months that this beloved man of hers just silent even she was struggling with her pain. There were many un fulfilled promises. There were many "ill call u later" or "i will come to u later" which turns out to be empty. And Vincent was just a guy who asked her to take it easy, even how nard it is for her. But again, as she was hopelessly in love with him, she was just the easy target of Vincent, the prince charming who happens to know how to melt her protection down and stepped into her life.

7.35 pm. He was there, parking his bike. Ellen sighed even deeper. She can even smell his perfume even he still not climb to her window. She opened the door with the miss of a woman. Vincent looked at her, and as usual, said that she looked amazing. Elen blushed, look how Vincent could always wins her heart.

"Ready?" he said. Ellen just nodded awkwardly. It always happens in minimum first 15 minutes Vincent around her. She couldnt control herself, butterfly was inside her stomach, and she couldnt cover the shyness that she has in front of this man. Then Vincent was busy explaining to her that he needed to buy many things for his friend on the way to dinner place.

Ellen bit her lips again. "again, it is your friends who is more important than me. It is them, who u put first. Even this wil be our last time to be together. Cant u see, i need to talk to u? I need to see your face and remember our memory together? I need to sit in park with u, or enjoying the evening breeze together. Cant u make time for me, at this last day?". Those conversation was only in her busy mind. She could never say it to Vincent. She just nodded and agreed on what he said.

Vincent held her hand. "but my dear, we will be togetehr for long time tonight. U can go wherever u want, and my time is leisure for u tonight".

Ellen blinked. She was flying to heaven. "yay! He will have time for me tonight". There was again hope in her eyes. She felt so happy that Vincent would make time for her. They went to the dinner place, and Ellen's heart was singing all over the way. She dreamed that they will sit and talk, remembering the memory they had during these three months.

They sat at the table. It was a cozy restaurant. They ordered and while waiting, Ellen put the nicely wrapped gift to Vincent. It was a small box with a letter. Vincent opened it up, and found the keychain. Ellen looked at his eyes, trying to find the slightest joy there.

Vincent looked at her with his deep sharp eyes Ellen always admired. "thank u dear".

And the dinner went well. Vincent ate in hurry, as he wanted to buy the stuff for his friends. Ellen bite her lips agan as they even didnt look at each other as Vincent was tok busy to finish his meal so he can run for his fruends stuff soon. Ellen wanted to enjoy the moment. She wanted to talk, listened to the music, looked at Vincent's face. But no, that was not what happened. Vincent was too busy to eat, that he could not even look at Ellen's eyes. And she was just silently finish her dinner.

She stil wanted to enjoy the dessert, as Vincent hurrily back to the seat after he went to the rest room.

"lets go". He said.

Ellen said "but i still want to enjoy the dessert".

"it will be late, it is nine pm already. The shop will close".

Ellen swallowed her disappointment. "Time, thats all i ask, Vincent. Time. But for u, it must be the toughest thing to do, plus, it maybe the most expensive one that u have in this world".

They ran to the shop. He was busy loading the stuff for his friends, while Ellen just stood in tne corner. She could not understand why she can love this man so deeply. Isnt it love supposed to make u happy? Then why what she felt was only a dream high then falling down to earth? Was it her mistake?

They ran to bike. Vincent was still busy taking his friend call during the way. He didnt even look at Ellen's eyes, thise eyes which tears in back of him, thinking why the man she love so much could not just pause from his friend and looked how those eyes really miss him and just need some TIME to talk. But Ellen was silent. She just sat behind him, and realized that the dinnershe hoped to be a good time to talk to him turned out to be the silence goodbye she ever felt.

Approaching her home, Vincent slowed down the bike. He pulled Ellen's hand and said how much he enjoyed being with her. Ellen felt the vibration in her heart. The drum started beating in it. She could not reject the fact that she will always love him. No matter what he did, she forgives. She closed her eyes, the eyes that Vincent doesnt even have time to look at tonight. The eyes that tears along the nights Vincent promised but never fulfilled it. She forgives him.

They arrived. Ellen tried her last effort with the shyness of a girl.

"please come upstair". She did it with all her force that she could. It was not easy for a girl to ask a man just like that. And Ellen was not a girl who changes man everytime. She is not that girl. She is just a girl with a true heart. True felling. And even how unfair life treating her, she is the untouchable. She didnt change even a bit. She still warm, kind hearted, the one wihich is free from hatred.

Vincent rejected her. She was torned. The voice of "we will have long time tonight" keep playing ovr and over in her head. She tried to hold the tears. She bite again her lips. Thats was the only method that she could understand to overcome the bitterness.

She ran to upstair. She sat on the rooftop. She still hoped Vincent will come after her and minimum talked to her. But no. He continued his bike, and he just looked at her from far away. Before finally, he vanished.

Her eyes were wet. She blinked. The only word she could say was "come back, come back". As if Vincent will listen to it. She was torned. She was wrecked like a Titamnic hit the stone in Atlantic sea. She starred on that road, hoped Vincent, her beloved man, will be back to her house, climbed upstair, and hugged her for the last time. But no, that was the goodbye. That was the sioent goodbye, Vincent ever gave to her. Her pretty lips, as Vincent could only said "come back, come back", but he never come back. It was nothing but just an empty silent road, as silent as her heart.

Ellen ran down to her room. She could not finish this by a holding hand on street. It was not supposed to be. She needs to talk, she needs a hug, as bad as she could. But she realized that a man could be heartless. That he can just walk away and left the woman all in nothing but emptiness. This is a goodbye, for God sake. She still whispered "come back, come back", just like how Rose called Jack's name in Titanic. But nothing happened. Not a knock on her door, not even a phone call from Vincent saying goodbye or how bad he feels of leaving Ellen in such a way. He knew her number, he could just call her, and said it to make her feel better, but Ellen could see how he just doesnt care of Ellen.

She sobbed and sobbed, her tears ran down like a fountain. She grabbed her pillow just to transfer the pain which is un transferrable. Until finally, she fell asleep, with tears on her eyes. All she needed was time. Time to talk, time to share memories. She dreamed about Vincent's first visit. How he pursued her. How he made time for her. It was in the beginning, so Ellen was just confuse of how easy Vincent changed. How easy he said something that he just wouldnt do. How easy to broke a promise.

She huggef her pillow, slept. And all she can feel is only emptiness. As empty as it could be, from a silemt goodbye. Cold, empty...

Enjoy!